Everything I’ve eaten over the past thirteen years
threatens to spew into maggots before my eyes.
I peer through the mirror to see the other side
but all I see is me lathered in stupidity.
Yet, I wanted to believe because of love,
And despite tumultuousness for which I’m partly to blame
for keeping mum, I wanted us to last.
But perhaps I knew all along we were not meant to be,
For without honesty there are only lies
and life does not survive in a house of lies.
You made sure you were secure
while those faces before me loomed.
I lived in ignorance then, much wiser now—today—
although I fear it is too late for all that’s gone,
including dreams of a couple who meant the world to each other.
Oh to exist within an unbreakable bond where he’d throw me up high
and catch me in his safety net. Instead, that net has formed webs
and my insides have ripped apart and hammers pound upon me.
And evil will not stop.
Why hide from me while flaunting to others?
Making an embarrassment of one too naive to know:
me—none the wiser until now.
pencils and erasers will remain steadfast
to create paper illusions.