In My Own Little World of Me

The last couple of days have been…well, not Hell, not close to it even, but perhaps headed there, although I have diffused several times what could easily have turned into Hell. Suffice to say, these haven’t been perfect days. However, I’ve definitely had worse days – even pure Hellish Days – and know I’ll have more in the future. Life never remains a constant calm, at least not in my little world, although when there’s a stretch of perfection, I can be under the illusion that it will continue.

Mostly, I guess, things aren’t going according to MY perception of the way things should be. Not that I think I’m perfect or that the world should envelop me and my way of thinking – far from it – but when everything jumbles up at once and bombards me from right, left and centre and from all those other unexpected places, then my sense of serenity slips out the window. When that happens, I usually simmer in silence until the boiling point is reached and then there’s no turning back; I’m doomed.

I’ve tried a new tactic, although I wasn’t conscious of it until today. Realizing how short life is and not wanting to waste more of my precious time in non-constructive issues, I’m putting my perspectives on the back burner – not to simmer, not to reach the boiling point – just placed there to keep warm, maybe to stew a bit, to meld and temper, to retrieve some other day when I don’t have as much brewing in my pot.

But, for now, I’ll stay in my own little world of me.

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